Haunted

I chose this title because I feel it accurately describes the way I've been feeling lately. Not by ghosts, but by my own dreams!! In the last year or so I feel like I've had WAY too many troubling dreams, the kind where you wake up feeling panicked, and then can't shake the feeling for days.

Lately there are 2 recurring dreams I've been having. The first is about needles. For instance, a couple nights ago I had a dream (or would my dreams more accurately be called nightmares?) where I was running around trying to find my sister Ayisha, who is also a medical assistant, because I needed an insulin shot and couldn't bring myself to do it. So I was searching everywhere for her, and finally found her, and then I couldn't find a needle to fit the syringe. And I was panicking because I knew that if I didn't give myself the shot on time I'd get sick.

The second dream I've been having usually involves this one set of my close guy friends I had in high school and college. (I don't dream about my female friends as much because I get to see them much more often) Last night I dreamed that it was high school graduation again, and they called me to meet me somewhere, so I just kept running all over the city trying to find them, and I was crying because I couldn't find them anywhere. All my dreams run along this line - either I'm trying to find them and can't, or I'm having so much fun with them that when I wake up and realize it was just a dream then I'm really sad.

It's so weird that I dream so much now, because during junior high and high school I hardly dreamed (or rather, remembered my dreams) at all. I remember one point my senior year where I realized that the last time I remembered dreaming was in like 7th grade. I think my dreams got kick-started again because when I sent my missionary off I started dreaming about him or my other friends that had left several times a week. And now I'm just a regular dreamer!

Speaking off: There are only 2 dreams that I had as a child (under the age of 10) that I can remember, and they both involve my sisters. In the first one, a lion escaped from the zoo and came to my house and so we all ran into the house to hide. But my sister Kavita didn't make it in time, so she jumped into the sandbox to hide and the lion jumped in and ate her. In the other dream, my sister Ayisha was hit and killed by a car in the street. Both gruesome, no? I must have been learning about death for the first time at that age or something.

Sorry for the random post. Though I suppose they're ALL random. . .

Embarrassing

Oh, boy.

Yesterday I wore a white skirt to work. I was feeling all confident, and cute, and composed. . .

AND THEN.

I went to a medical luncheon at AF Hospital. On my way back out to the car it was my horror to have pointed out to me that I had something on the back of my skirt. For half a moment I thought it was something else, but upon closer inspection, I decided it was chocolate. Since we had been served chocolate chip cookies for dessert at the luncheon, I concluded that there must have been a chocolate chip on my chair. The chair I had just vacated, which means only one person had seen it.

Feeling much better, I then realized something else: I had patients coming into the office in 20 minutes, and the drive from AF Hospital to my office takes 10 minutes.

SO. Quick as a whistle (what does that even mean?) I decided my best option was to buy a new skirt in the next 10 minutes. So I zoomed into the Lindon Walmart, picked up the first skirt I saw that matched my shirt, paid, and left. I got to my office just in time, and the skirt looked great. Saved!

. . .and then this morning when I got in my car to come to work, I brushed some dirt off my driver's seat, and remembered how my windows had been open a couple days ago when we had that dust storm.

Dang. Maybe I DID have the stain on my skirt all morning.

Pie

Remember:

The difference between hostility and hospitality is pi(e).

Spicy

My Indian grandma is visiting because of conference (my mom's family does conference translation). As a result, I anticipate eating a lot more Indian food this week than normal. This is of course fine - but if only it weren't so spicy!!! My grandma definitely cooks way spicier than my mom does. My mom brought me some lunch at work today that apparantly my grandma had made for me. It's so hot it's making my nose run! (To be fair, I have a lower "hot-spicy" tolerance than most people.)

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

I've been encouraged to do the A - Z Tag thing that's been going around lately. However, I am not nearly as eloquent as most of you, and not nearly as patient. :) Instead, I am taking the main idea and twisting into a shorter version, something I like to call. . .

10 Things You Don't Know About Me

1. I went to Japan for the 1998 Olympics
2. I am a Rubik's Cube master
3. I have been in 7 car accidents and 1 motorcycle mishap (almost always as a passenger, don't worry)
4. I have never broken a bone unintentionally
5. I heart Coke
6. My grandpa is a potato farmer in Idaho
7. I secretly don't like dogs very much.
8. I am a crazy mad Batman fan. I have boxes upon boxes of Batman memoribilia.
9. I am super good at home repair and construction. I could totally manage an apartment complex if I wanted to.
10. I have a green thumb of death. All my plants die. I couldn't even keep my cactus alive.

My Other Car is a SAAB

Well, as most of you know, I won the car! This is my new Mitsubishi Eclipse! Or, as I've decided to call her, Mitsy:

It's a really cool car, and I'm really excited to have it. It's only flaw is that it's. . .

SIGH. . .

Japanese.

Not that I really have anything against Japanese cars, it's just that after the SAAB I swore I'd only buy European cars for the rest of my life.

Maybe. . .

maybe. . .

Lederhosen Mitsubishi?!

Anyway, Mitsy and I have been bonding over the last few days. Observe:

Mitsy pummeling me in chess


Me and Mitsy rocking out to some Guitar Hero tunes

Me and Mitsy on night patrol (hence the mask)

Strawberries!

On Thursday we had cooking club at my house. We did chocolate dipped strawberries, because as everyone knows, the only foods I can make are desserts. It was really fun. Thanks to everyone who came!

My Everest

This picture accurately describes the way I felt while climbing with Cara and Lina at the Quarry last night.

Mostly it's because I'm a big baby and am terrified of heights

So I looked up at that big wall and growled, "You. . .are my Everest!"

And then I conquered it. Ha.

Props to Il Divo

If you've never heard of the group called Il Divo, you seriously should check it out. It's like pop opera. They're a 4-man group, with guys from America, France, Spain, and Switzerland. My best friend introduced me to it saying that she fell in love with it immediately, and 30 seconds into the song she chose I fell in love with it too.

You can go to YouTube and search for the songs. My absolute favorite is one they do in French with Celine Dion, called "I Believe In You". Another really good one is "The Man You Love."

Check it out guys, seriously.

Bleh snow

It is 2:00pm on a Monday afternoon, and I'm snuggled up safely on my sofa, watching tv and blogging while the storm rages outside. On a day like this, I am SO GRATEFUL that I have such a wonderful job, with a doctor who knows when it's time to cancel the day because of the weather.

Yet another reason why I'll never leave this job. :)

President Hinckley

What a shock it was tonight to come home from a very inspiring missionary fireside, and then to suddenly get a message from my sister that President Hinckley had just passed away. President Hinckley was sustained when I was 9 years old, so I don't really remember having any other prophet but him. I really did think he'd kind of just live forever. I grew to love him as I passed through those rocky teenage and adolescent years under his leadership.

I had the opportunity to be in the same room as him many times. I attended many conference sessions over the past 10 years and would spend a good deal of time just looking at the prophet. I attended 2 BYU devotionals at the Marriott Center where President Hinckley was in attendance. I also had the unique experience to be in the Celestial Room of the Timpanogos temple during the dedication (my dad was a bishop in the area at the time) and sat 10 feet away from President Hinckley as he conducted the session that Wednesday afternoon. Even then at 11 years old, I knew he was a special man and could feel the spirit radiating from him.

This is a very sad loss, but in times like this I am reminded of how blessed we are to be part of a church where everything is in its place. There is no confusion about what will happen next. President Monson is our prophet now. The church will go on. We have lost a great man, but we have not lost truth. For this I am grateful.

NYE at the CT

I forgot to post this earlier.

This was taken on New Year's Eve at the Chef's Table restaurant. I was there helping out on one of the busiest nights of the year.

Always a good dress-up opportunity. I like to wear these 4-inch heel glass slippers I have. Naturally, I end up changing into more comfortable ballerina slippers after about 2 hours. :)

NYE at the restaurant is always fun. Usually we have a jazz band that comes and plays, and we decorate the restaurant with glittery hats and tiaras, streamers, and those little paper horn things. Also (my favorite) bottles of Kristian Regale everywhere. I got to take one home this year as a momento (although it was empty by morning).

Masquerade

Last night my best friend and I went to a masquerade at the Provo Historic County Courthouse building and rocked out till midnight. It was so much fun! They were offering "vintage" dance lessons and mask decorating, although we didn't do either. They also ended the night with the masquerade song from Phantom of the Opera. There were some amazing costumes there! I wish I had taken my camera. I love dressing up!

Hair Care

Whenever something particularly stressing occurs in my life, I change my hair. I don't know why.

When I started college I bleached my hair to a dark wood-sy brown color.

When my boyfriend left on his mission, I dyed my hair raven black. Now this may not sound like much, but if you realized how really not black my hair is, you'd realize it was a noticeable change.

When I moved out for the first time and got in a huge fight with this queen bee roommate of mine, I went to St. George and came back with a head full of golden highlights. (This was double treatment - I was simultaneously in the middle of trying to discourage one of my best guy friends at the time from liking me romantically. We never did recover from that.)

When I moved away and was crying all the time because I missed living with my best friend and other single pals, I chopped my hair off.

When I was working 24/7 to finish my independent study classes so I could graduate on time, and all the other stresses from this summer - I had my hair layered, no small feat with hair as long as mine.

Today I am sporting bangs. Yes bangs, but not ones from the 90s. I like them quite a bit. :)

Purpose

I think that lately I've been having a sort of existential breakdown. You know, the kind that most people are already supposed to have gone through by my stage of life. The whole time I was in school I felt like I had such purpose, that I was contributing so much to the community by doing my part to be educated so that I could make the world a better place. Ever since I graduated I've felt a little. . .not lost really, but more like I'm not sure I'm on the BEST path. I mean, my schooling did its purpose - I was just offered a full time position that I LOVE and where I get to help people. It's not just about work though - I just kind of feel like I'm living my life going through the motions, without any real goal in sight. It's really a feeling I've had for a couple years now, but maybe I'm just more aware of it now because I don't have school to distract me anymore. This is really hard for me because I remember a time when I felt like there wasn't anything more I could ask out of life, and now instead I just feel a little helpless as I watch life happen, like I'm not in control of my own destiny anymore. I know that's not true, but it FEELS like it. Although, to be sure, that "perfectness" I remember could have just been the glory of youth, and now that I'm considered an adult I don't look at life through such rose-colored glasses. Sorry these thoughts are so scattered - although it gives a good insight into what living in my head is like. :)

Please tell me other people have felt this way.